Much Happier

I have had a few problems but they are gettint better I have also been in a good mood. Yesterday the Beech Grove Marching Hornets went to the District compepition at Southport. We did amazing. We got a gold and are moving on to the regional competition. I can't wait because I know we will get a Gold. But last night at the party some people were saying some mean things. Some people called me fat. I don't like it but I am better about it now. I am in a wonderful mood today and I am going to go see the movie Facing the Giants. It will be fun.

Trying to get over him

I have had a bad day. I have been thinking way too much. The first Band Contest for Beech Gro0ve didn't go so well. But that is not even what I have been thinking about all day. I know my focus should always be on Band when we have a contest but I was thinking about someone. I am still in love with someone but I know I can't be with him. He doesn't want me back. I have been thinking about him since the day we broke up. I just can't get over him. It is awkward being around him when he shows up to band things. I just don't want to think about him anymore even though I love him so much. It is so hard to believe that something you love so dear can be taken away instantly. I have been trying to get over him but I just can't.

Things since school started

So I have been sick lately. I have been getting really dizzy and about to pass out. I also have been having back spasms a lot and it is hard to march. Our first band contest is on september 9th. I can't wait but we still have to get movement three down. We always forget the last few sets. What makes me mad is the guard always puts their stuff in the way of my sets so I always hit them. Aww well my saxaphone is a school horn anyway. Its been weird not having a boyfriend but I am happy the way my life is (well almost anyway). My mom is threatening suicide and she won't listen to me to tell her how I feel about it. School is really hard but I do plan on graduating on time even if it kills me. Some awkward moments I have had are at band on thursdaty night I saw my ex boyfriend while trying to run with my nephew and then later he saw me by the water fountain and he said hi, and then today he showed up at band again and I asked his mom is she would take me home and she said she would. Then on the way to my sisters house to babysit I was sitting in the back seat with Chris and Charles and Chris were debating on the playstation 2 and the xbox 360. And then they said that Chris spends to much time with his girlfriend and that they don't do anything and then Chris replies well you and Amanda did stuff when you two were dating. Those were two awkward moments that I have encountered and they are only weird because I have not talked to him in person since the breakup. In fact we have hardly talked at all since the emails that were sent after the breakup. I miss him so much and I still love him. My life is different from before and I hope one day we will get back together.

School

So I started school on August 14th. and I just finished my first horrible week. On monday and wednesday I slept in and I was almost late to my first class. Then I had eight classes worth of homework to get done before I had to go to band. I fell asleep and was late to band without finishing my homework. Then when I got there they had enforced a new rule that you have to do 5 pushups every minute you are late. They told me that I should have had to do 150 but since I didn't know about the rule they only gave me 30. And our first public performance was horrible. We didn't stay in step and Nick pushed me into Chuckie. Overall my first week of school sucked.

So bored

So today I went horseback riding. It was really fun. I have been struggling a lot lately with everything. Things have just been screwing up left and right. I am still very much in love with my ex boyfriend Charles. I just want everything to change to something good for me. I know I sound a bit selfish but I don't mean to.

So I might be moving

My mom and stepdad want a divorce so I may be moving. This sux but aww well I am still going to go to the same school just I will be living in a new area and meeting new friends.

Life doesn't always go as planned

So me and my boyfriend broke up on august 2nd. It is sad.

This past week at Iliana Camp 2006

So I have accepted Christ into my heart this past week at Illiana camp. I was talking to two people, Scotty and Jackolynn, about some problems in my life. They told me some things that I didn't know. Then they prayed for me. Then that Thursday night after the service ended and we were finishing in songs. I started to cry. I held back the tears as long as I could and I just started to ball my eyes out. then I just started to pray and I accepted him in my life. This year may have been a bad year but ay least something good happened. I am looking forward to what God has in store for me, my family, and my boyfriend. And Thank You to all that helped me through this week and who will continue to help me. I love you all.